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|Thursday, July 1st, 2004|
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHIL!
get good'n drunk!
|Sunday, June 13th, 2004|
|life as i know it
well things are good for the most part. Im in school for the summer and things are going well, im taking the nice teacher this semester thank god. Im taking baking so its neat because every day i get to go deliver pasteries all over campus, people are starting to love me for it and im turning out to be a better pastry cook than i thought. People always say mine are the best without knowing they are mine, it makes me feel good. Im a bit lonely lately but thats okay. yY mom pissed off my best friend marilee so bad she wouldnt call my house, well then her and my good friend stephanie moved away without telling me, im really hurt but thats okay, i hold no grudge just hope i can hug them again some day. Well im half way through school now. I dont know what ill do after that, i dont really have anywhere to go even though knowing me ill throw myself into some wierd situation asap. I think im giving up on love, every attemp crushes he harder than believeable, almost like every person i try for attempts to hurt me worse than the last, but hey, who needs love anyhow... right? I can survive being lonely, it wont kill me :\ my mom is tired of me living here, i was about to move out but then my boss fired me so she could hire her daughter and im pretty screwed with that right now but hopefully soemthing will turn up soon. Other than this all is pretty well. Im still making a's and doing great at school, some day people will respect me and ill have a good job. Thats important. Im gaining some respect and still have a few friends left. Life is good. There is the sunshine and the flowers, how could i not smile, oh and dont forget all my hello kitty garb :D Current Mood: nostalgic
|Monday, April 26th, 2004|
|rant, id hide it if i knew how
anyhow i dont know how to make it so you have to click to see it so if you dont want to read this scroll down
last week was the damn competition our classes had to do. Ive decided that is cruel that they make people do it, some people didnt even get a certificate because their projects were injured in transport. It would be understandable if they gave us our baking lab or our garnmaje(sp) classes first but we havent even gotten to those yet and everything you could do for this damn things is explained in those classes. My teacher was comlaining about how people wanted to tdo pasteries and that i was doing a torte and we hadnt taken baking yet and i pointed out that we hadnt done ANY competition food yet and she got pissed off. Anyhow while working on my torte every time i asked chef leslie for help she talked down to me and yelled at my like a fucking dog. One time i went in for her help but she was busy and it was going to take too much time so i went to call my work, by the time i got back she was screaming at me "i am giving you MY time which you are not worthy of and your just screwing around and havent even gotten anything in place, what is wrong with you?" when i allready had everything in place.
Now when i think of the competition i dont feel bad that all i got was a certificatre, some people didnt even get that. The poor guy next to me didnt even get one, his wife and family was there and so proud of him but they didnt speak good english and i dont think they even understood what happened. The look in his face was one of pure heartbreak, all the blood and sweat and tears for nothing, i personally wouldnt know how i would have dealt with it. My friend jj made a beautiful wedding cake that the top colapsed on at the competition, she didnt pass either. We were competing against perfessional chefs from other states, i know they just want us tpo get better but doing it so early on just is a great way to belittle and enbrass some people. Oh well
so then i got too drunk this weekend, thats all im going into there except in slowing down on drinking for a while.
Heres the kicker- today was cleanup at 8am from the competition and everyone who ised the lab was supposed to help clean up. Well it wound up being me and one toher person cleaning up after both classes. Everone in my group had used the lab so on my way through i ask jose and aaron(in my group) if they were going to start our final project, Chef Leslie screams "purple group is jose and aaron today GET BACK TO CLEANING NO0OOOOOOW!!!!!!" so i go back and i mention something to thomas who was in there with me about how she should stop screaming over and over to clean at the two of us because we allreay were cleaning as fast as we could and that the other lab class should be in there helping, shouldnt have done that.....
next thing i know an enraged leslie grabs me by the arm threows me across the room and then grabs my arm again and squeezes so tight shge shaking because she cant suqeeze any harder (my hand and arm have hurt extremely bad all day after this) and screams at me that if she hears another word from mee about the other lab she will give me an incomplete for the semester and that i dont have the right to talk about such things and to be quiet and do what im told basically.
after a few good tears of anger and beating up a wall and a cigarette i got back in and do as im told, eventually she let me go back to my group after 4 hours of cleaning but she never let thomas go so she wass wrong and we did do all the cleaning. later on someone brought in a stoll from next door to sit on (we are all beat into the ground way too hard after last week) she threw the chair across the lab and started screaming at that person.
im taking the nice instructor for baking this summer, enough said and a few people are going on the movement with me.
anyhow i cant believe that she thinks getting violent with her students is the way to get things done, we are all scared of her and it makes it harder to learn when your scared. anyhow what a BITCH~!
so this week id a paper i write tonight the practicals on friday
finals on monday and tuesday
then i am staying away from that bitch as much as possible, i like my new chef, her name is marcy and she was just telling me and my friends how proud she was of us all and how great we all did, even my friend jj's colapsed wedding cake. She is a sweet lady and helped me with my torte after leslie was treating me bad last week, im excited for baking.
enough for now Current Mood: aggravated
|Friday, April 16th, 2004|
|busy busy busy
well things are going allright. I am very busy, i have all this homework, been going to school, working, going to acf events, and getting ready for the competition next week. Pray for me, i hope i can pull it off well, i know i can its just a bit stressful. I wont go into my personal dramas and stresses with people around me, it would be pages of junk no one really cares about. I do need to get out this weekend before next week, all next week will be dedicated to making the most beautiful torte i can pull off even if it kills me for this competition i used to be scared but now im excited for the competition and scared for finals because we always have lab and havent really gotten into out 32 chapter text book but luckily we will go over that soon and ill know what i need to study on more. Im also working on an essay/presentation on port. but yeah thats about all i can think of right now that i want to go into on here, just wanted to say hi, im alive still! Current Mood: determined
|Tuesday, April 13th, 2004|
i get to class this morning looking foprward to ricco's class as always.
Ricco didnt look good and said he felt really dizzy and weak. After about 10 min we had to help him to the floor so he could lay down, and one girl who is in out class whos a nurse tried to help him. We had someone come to check his blood sugar (hes diabetic) and eventually had to call an ambulance, class ended with ricco being tak3en out on a stretcher on his way to the hospital. The emt's didnt really know what was wrong but said they thought it was a combination of health problems causing something to happen. Hes my favorite professor and a really cool person, i hope hes okay, im a bit shaken up about it. I stayed and talked to him until they got him in the ambulance, now im worried :(
|Monday, March 15th, 2004|
just a thought about a thought
some days all i can think to myself is
"dont break, cant break now, made it this far cant fall apart, dont break now"
and its still hard to listen to even myself
days like today
some day im going to shatter
|Thursday, March 11th, 2004|
|Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... |
|Category||Your Score ||Average |
Explored the pleasures of the flesh
It takes a couple of drinks
|Sex Drive ||39.5%|
I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!
Knows the other body type like a map
|Gayness ||1.8% |
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
|Fucking Sick||70.8% |
Dipped into depravity
|You are 40.15% pure|
Average Score: 72.6%
|Wednesday, January 7th, 2004|
first off, I HATE THE SNOW! *end of that rant* just too much of it. So Im excited for school, but still a bit petrified of my first labs. Today i got to do lots of fun school shopping and right now im about to go get my knives and uniforms. It is so much fun! Im very happy right now. I just wish i didnt have to take the bus in the snow all day :( thats about it, felt like posting something
|Saturday, January 3rd, 2004|
so i guess it is 2004, i partied way too hard for my own good the last 2 days and i think im going to go sleep and be slothish. I hope this year will be better than the last. ill write more later when i dont feel like ive been hit by a truck,
happy new years everyone <3<3
hope your year is doing swell
oh yeah and tommorow will be day 12 without a cigarette, im proud of myself
this is all
|Thursday, December 25th, 2003|
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!
|Monday, December 15th, 2003|
|Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003|
things are good. Finished all homework this week and made an a on my marketing report, thank god thats finally done. My insanity has stopped for a while. Finals on monday and wednesday and then im done for a month. I think im going to do some enjoyable reading, ever since ive had my library card I havent read anything not about marketing from the library. sick right now. I hate being sick. ive been seeing some friends I havent seen for a long time lately and been hanging out with people i miss which is good. I dont know what im going to do without school for a month though, I think I might get bored but I will see. Must go sledding *personal note to self* I hope everyone out there is good, Im hanging in there.
|Saturday, November 8th, 2003|
tired of everything
Andy left me because he is tired of hurting me and didnt want to try to make things better. One more person not in my life. I hate marketing, and i dont want to go to school right now. I dont want to get out of my bed in the morning. Ive had a headache for over a month now. My body hurts worse every day and nothing makes it better and i dont know whats causing it. eh Sometimes i have to try really hard to remember there is some good in the world and there is something worth living for. My dad goes in on thursday to get a tumor removed (for the third time) it may be cancerous, my mom has allready decided that if my dad has cancer shes going to try to die too and told me, she needs heart surgery but wont get it if hes sick. Thats about all thats new with me, better go get ready for a wake im having at my house in a few hours. Hope there is no drama tonight. Clint wouldnt have wanted it that way.
|Sunday, July 20th, 2003|
well last night was very fun, flor threw me a very wonderful birthday party and people actually came! tima brought me beautiful flowers and flor gave me a pretty red rose, amber got me a really neat necklace too. I got to eat a yummy strawberry shortcake cake mmmmmmm. Bought my first pack of smokes i could LEGALLY buy in utah, even though i was about too drunk to talk, but i still somehow managed to make it out of the 7-11 with a pack of camel special lights 100's. i took about 20 shots too many and eventually passed out after a few beers, i blame it on the carbonation, that waas the only not so lovely thing about my evening but i managed several hours of partying before then, and much drinking too. I was also happy my brother had a good time, it is his birthday too, and i always like to see him happy :)I saw a llot of my friends last night and had an overall wonderful evening. Todays my actual birthday and im just hanging out with my friends and family and andy :) i think 19 is a good number Current Mood: loved
|Thursday, June 19th, 2003|
|Personality||A Worrier, I Worry That I Worry Too Much|
|Temperament||All Bark, No Bite|
|Likely To Win||A Home Help Badge|
|Me - In A Word||Belligerent|
|Brought to you by MemeJack|
is it me?
|Wednesday, June 11th, 2003|
just got a call from my boss, he doesnt need me until 1..... ahhhhhh..... woot woot
|ugh my week
well this week has been good, last weekend was fun checked out flors party and didnt do much else. Ive missed andy all week, he has been working too much to do anything but work but i get to join him tommorow, i get to go stayt at my boss's house, which is okay because brett is awesome but i have to get up at 1:30 am and get straight to work and get off at about 4pm. I haven never had the fear of dying on the job until now, wish me luck :D heh im nervous, but oh well going to steam clean my dads car today before andy comes and gets me, i need to be asleep by about 6. Im allready getting told to kiss ass to the disney executives oh boy har har har. Its okay i only work thursday and friday this week which is about all i could handle in all honesty, i need the money badly too. Poor andy has to work 6 days this week. But all is good, im just a bit lonely. Current Mood: nervous
|Wednesday, June 4th, 2003|
|my weekend and everything after
oi, where do i start? First something funny i said i have no clue where this came from. The other night i was playing rummy and my friend kenny was about to go out and i yell "grab your tail and cringe everyone, kennys going out" Grab your tail and cringe? Friday i went to the club with thayne and got very very smashed. Danced which is always a good time and eventually made it home. Slept for about four hours and then woke up and could never go back to sleep.
Saturday i woke up and got ready for my marilee and kenny ect ect to come over because we had planned to chill at my house (they come over every weekend)I have to say my mom is very clever, she got us a suprise keg for everyone! More people came we rejoiced and drank much beer. also drank beer for the majority os sunday too.
Monday I went with andy and kitty and derick to go repelling which i jave never done before. I am the least graceful thing since a cat with a sock over its head. i was going down the side and my feet slipped. My hand was allready to my side where it needed to be to break and what do i do? I grab forward grasping the rope and letting go of my break. Pretty much caught myself but its a good thing andy had attatched a safety line to derreck. Made it out with not TOO many cuts and bruises. Going to somewhere new on sunday :)
Yesterday I ran around doing errands with andy all morning and then went camping. Got really drunk again, played with fire and yelled things at kids going up into the woods to get high. They came back to me with a bong hehehe. Eventually got to sleep at about 3am to wake up at 8 to freezing cold weather. Got up and picked up everything that was soaked in frost. BURRR.... went and helped andys mom get stuff for some gathering hes cooking for for her, and came home. Andy gave me Nietzsche- thus spoke zarathustra so now im going to stay home and read tonight :) ahhhhh Current Mood: mellow
|Friday, May 30th, 2003|
well this week has been good. Started enrolling in school, whihc i hva emixed feelings about, i really want to take another year off for lots of reasons im not going to get into but im afraid my family will kick me out if i dont enroll. So oh well, ill see how things work. Been spending a lot of time with andy, he makes me happybut working around his schedule is a pain but will be easier as today is his last day cooking in layton (thank god) He took me to see the new matrix last night which was really good, that was fun. Last weekend i asked him if he knew a ezra (its a small world after all) and found out that hes good friends with my friend ezra who ive been friends with since i was about 13 so tommorow him and ezra and kenny and all the kids are going to come up to my house to drink beer and bbq, huzzah. I feel like i have more energy lately, i guess its all the meat ive been eatingim probably going to gain 10 pounds from it now heh. oh well heh. And for tonight going to the club with thayne and josh which will be fun fun fun! thats about it... more later Current Mood: confused
|Wednesday, May 28th, 2003|
I got a really cute vase today! highlight of my day! Its glass and its red and has a cute yellow glass flower winding up it and i went and picked lots of pretty wild flowers for it! Just thought id share my little bit of sunshine! hehehehe good day, chilled with my mom all day and then went and saw my brother and kenny play, ate yummy pizza. Now im too full :) Current Mood: bloated